Fresh Start, a Complex-Heart

When new unforeseen narratives sprout up in your life like a sudden eave reaching thistle, paths become blocked. Your view of what is ahead is no longer visible in your heart and mind the way they were.

The past 18+ months have kicked my heart to the curb. What I have learned in the process of peeling myself off what has felt like the side lines of the street and months of therapy in partnership with my husband, has made me feel so empowered that I cannot hold it in! Today, I feel my life can be a witness to victories that are re-seeding joy I never knew I deserved. What I experienced as a child through my early adulthood, are finally feeling healed, forgiven, and part of a colorful quilt I am very thankful for in my heart matrix that is being reset, like a life plan reboot. My heart is powering back up. For those of you who know me very well, you know I say what’s on my mind, sometimes gently, sometimes not so gently. I always have the best intentions of giving, love, sacrifice, service, joy and protection in my investment into relationships, my work and any part of daily life that I have an opportunity to make a difference within my ability.

I ‘m excited for the ability to share parts of my journey in my formative years as a child and teen, becoming a wife, mom , long distance grandparent, soon retiring and planning for the final season of my life. We ( my husband and I)have a new plan, a pivot from a path we had pictured in this season of our lives. I pray I enrich and empower other moms of adult children and long distance grandmothers with the ability to find joy in what we do “get to have” as our hugs and affirmations and feel confident and happy in our daily life. I’m taking hold of what my narrative is now and letting go of what I had planned or hoped for. It has been difficult to accept that our life long dreams and plans don’t always fruition, no matter how tangible they are or how dedicated and committed we are. Most impactful for me, has been that although all my visions of this time in my life are not as I had planned or dreamed , it is perfect and beautifully gratifying on many levels.

My thought for the day , shared from one of my favorite Podcasts, #MelRobbins,

https://www.melrobbins.com/podcast

“You’re allowed to leave any place, person, or situation that makes you feel bad.”

** I like this for a lot of reasons, but I don’t know that “leaving” is a thoughtful and mature action because you feel bad. We have all been made to feel bad, by friends, family, coworkers, your spouse or partner…so is the answer to leave? This statement is empowering and very broad and presumptuous. I feel like it supports not facing issues, investing in relationships or gives people a cop out. Being allowed to do something, doesn’t always mean it is the right move.

Diana ~

Ask or share anything! Would love it!

3 responses to “Fresh Start, a Complex-Heart”

  1. Marlene Haney Avatar
    Marlene Haney

    This is complex. Why do you feel bad? Who is making you feel bad? Why do you allow them to make you feel this way? What power do you allow them to have over you? Is there valid justification for this feeling? If so, then leaving would be appropriate. Leaving does not assume that you are not facing an issue. It is a response to acknowledging the facts as you understand them and then making an appropriate decision. Just my thoughts based on this information.

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  2. Bethany Avatar
    Bethany

    Thank you for posting. I like your view on the quote by Mel Robbins.

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    1. diarau58 Avatar

      Thank you 🙂

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I’m Diana

Welcome to my blog. I’m so happy you are here. I hope you find encouragement and solace in my writing. I hope to be a light for other moms, grandma’s and wives entering their retirement season that are aching for peace, contentment and joy in their finish.  

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