If you were certain you had 20 years for this life as you know it….what would be your hopes and plans within your control ? It almost feels like a “what if I won the lottery question doesn’t it? No day is promised. Next Christmas, next summer, next year may not fruition. “Make each day count” is an old cliche that I think is overused. And, I feel like it’s subtle and dismissive sounding. Each day has become much more to me, for many reasons.
On Sunday mornings, my husband and I recently started a “fireside chat” time. He usually has to wake me with my cup of his “special for me, only he can make” cup of coffee. ( I claim to be “allergic” to mornings) We usually will chat about the past week, share concerns, joys and plan for the upcoming week. Often, one or both of us will have read an article to share, listened to a blog or reflect on our family and friends. It has been a very necessary time for us to stay connected, support each other and capture gratefulness and anticipation for the week ahead. This Sunday morning devotion of time to each other has been an effort to be very intentional about tightening us as a team and staying strong and devoted to each other first. We are a team and sometimes even after 40 years of marriage, people or circumstances will slip a wiggle of space between us that confuses our team playing.
Recently, I read an article with a very thought provoking statement… “now in my early 60’s, it has gone so fast, God willing, I may have 20 years left in this life on earth.” When I shared this with Doug, his response was, “Wow, that means we have 20 Christmas Holidays, 20 summers..” As we went deeper, it provoked a swallow of reality and it made me tear up. If we are blessed to continue to visit our daughter and the grandkids 3 times a year, we will see them approximately 60 more times.” Although, we realize quality not quantity is of high value, it does not make these realities feel better.
Our first 60 years are now behind us. If we view each 20 year span as a season, we have completed 3 seasons. We cannot assume we get another season. But, if we do, imagine how fast that one season left will go. We’ve gone through, Fall, Winter, Spring ( 20 years each season) and now Summer is remaining. At that moment it hit me… I LOVE Summer! So why not make it my best season yet?! There is no perfect time then NOW to seize more meaningful moments with our family, our beloved grandkids, our friends and each other. I don’t want to wait and forsake joy that I deserve and can have and can bring to others. It’s time to ask, to share, to go, to join in, to travel and wade in all that is good.
Time can be a thief and also a precious treasure in one box. In my life, as far back as I can remember, I have been good at hiding or denying the internal effects of past traumas and family tendencies that have cycled in my life. Once I made the decision to face things head on, the magnitude of how much I had buried broke my heart. I got scared, ashamed and regretful of the power I had unknowingly given this quiet, dark, hidden little box of trauma, fear and rejection. I am so grateful to the professional therapist I have worked with these past 2 years and our couples counselor we’ve grown with. We have no shame in seeking professional advice, counsel and tools to strengthen our team of 2. It is our investment in us that has brought us through so much together and we are feeling extremely excited for our Final Season of our life to capture way more fun.
Healing and Joy takes work with intentional steps and actions. Wishing you a gathering this season of people who truly “know you” and “truly love you” right where you are in your journey of Life’s Seasons. In your Season of Life, wherever you are, don’t just play. Give your best self for every memory, every moment and do your life with your team.
Deep Sharing for Caring,
Diana
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