LadyDiRau

April 26, 2021

Spent the last 4 days with my sisters, it truly was perfect timing post pandemic and my need for warm weather. My little sister Bethany, 43, has a lovely oasis home in AZ …I tell people I live vicariously through her. I knew though, from history, that something would have to spark a wee bit of a cloud over our time even just for a bit. It always is family stuff. (We did not let it grey our time) Our dad has been the center of hills and valleys of emotions for all of us and so many countless others in our family.This past year he made the decision to alienate 2 of us. This saga of events goes back beginning long before we were born I feel certain. Many who have known us since we were young girls, have full scope of how remarkable it is that we all have become the women we have. I have thought a lot over the past 3-4 years about writing a blog , a diary, a reflection , a start to maybe a memoir of what I feel has been a victory over a childhood that should have led to much less contentment and peace. Today, as a mom of a 31 year old son, a 27 year old daughter , 2 precious granddaughters and son and daughter in law, I feel a love for them so deep, that I do not feel there are earthly words adequate to articulate. I do, however, know that I cannot begin to remotely fathom the thought of alienating my children, unless it were for my safety or health. If I can maintain the courage and set aside the time, I hope to get out on paper, going back as far as I can remember, recollecting events and circumstances that molded who I am today. Not the why, but , the whats that have molded my passions, my decisions, my loves, and the whats I will not repeat.